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One thing I am coming to accept is that although there are solutions to all problems, some people just don’t care. Most people will say they want to have a better life, but only a handful are actually willing to do what it takes to get there. Which type of person are you?

I am a social worker and I don’t doubt at all that I was made to work in this capacity. The goals and philosophies of my work resonate deeply in my soul. Engaging with people comes very naturally to me. I have won some awards and been recognized in other ways that have given me validation that others can see the contribution I make. The highest compliments have come directly from my clients.

At times, though, I get pretty frustrated. No matter what I do, so many of the people I try to help fail miserably. Too often the changes they make are just temporary, and as soon as they are off the hook of being monitored and scrutinized, they are right back to square one. Whether it is drugs, bad relationships, mental health issues, financial crisis, anger….

Why? Why are these people so stuck?

My first reaction is to blame myself. There must be something more I could have done to ensure their success. And maybe there is. I know I screw up. Sometimes things slip through the cracks. I am terrible at keeping track of all the paperwork that is required by the government. I constantly struggle to balance the endless needs of the people I work for vs my own wants and needs.

But thinking that my role is so critical to the success or failure of others is really egocentric on my part. In reality, I don’t have much to do with their successes or failures at all. Just as I am completely responsible to make my life what it is, so are they. I may be able to provide instruments that help them reach up to a better life, but an instrument doesn’t work unless you pick it up and actually use it.

Actually, I think many people are comfortable with their dysfunction. It is a culture they live in and migrate back to without someone prodding them in the other direction. Migrating to a comfort zone is not a phenomenon that is isolated to the part of society that receives social services. It is the natural tendency of everyone. I know that I tend to migrate toward my comfort zones. Luckily, I was raised in a functional family with functional role models, so I tend to migrate toward a more functional way of life. But what about those who have never had a functional comfort zone?

Am I overgeneralizing? Of course. There are always exceptions. I have seen some of my clients make real changes in their lives, and stick to them. But these experiences seem to be few and far between.

Honestly, I am burned out from working with people who have such a high rate of failure. It is actually quite uncommon for someone to work on the frontlines of social work for as long as I have (8 years). Most people move up into administrative positions, where they are no longer directly exposed to these issues I speak of, or they go back to school to become therapists. Some change their career path completely. Maybe I should consider one of these options.

I want to contribute in ways that brought me to social work in the first place… like I said, the goals and philosophies of my work resonate deeply in me. Maybe I just need to shift my paradigm toward what I do, and measure my success differently. I am not sure.

While this post may not sound very “solution focused”, really, I am writing it mostly to help me find a solution.

If I cannot change others, I can change myself. If my talents are not being utilized by the people around me, there must be ways that I can put myself in a position to contribute in a more impactful way? How can I find more satisfaction with the results of my work? I want to give people hope and real help to reach higher. I want to reach people who want to change, who are motivated to do whatever it takes.