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I like problems. You should too. Before you decide that I am crazy, and navigate away from this page, please hear me out. By the end of this article, you may agree with me.

Don’t get me wrong. I never start a day in search of problems. In fact, along with most of the world, I spend a good amount of time trying to avoid them (whether directly or indirectly). When a problem does come along, it almost always gets an initial negative response from me. It is usually not until I reach the “end” of a problem, or even when a good amount of time has passed since the issue was resolved, that I can truly appreciate the great opportunity that was disguised as something not so great.

Everybody experiences problems, discomfort, adversity, or whatever you want to call it (I will use these words interchangeably throughout this article). It is an inescapable part of the human condition. Almost immediately after you were born, you began to experience discomfort. Cold, hunger, tiredness, loneliness. As a baby, you didn’t have much of a choice in how you were going to handle your problems. Either your needs were met and you learned to trust the world around you, or they were not, and you learned to distrust.

As you grew, your discomforts and problems became more complex. I won’t attempt to list the potential problems you have had because the list is endless, and your experience is unique. Chances are, you are in the middle of some type of problem right now. It may be minor or it may be huge. I don’t think anybody will argue the fact that we all have discomfort and problems in life. Let’s move on to where the value lies in those problems.

Think of the finest person you know. A real quality individual. What is it that made you think of this person? I highly doubt it is someone who has sailed through life without a care or worry (as if those people even exist). If you really analyze that person and what it is you value in them, it is most likely a quality that was developed through one or many problems that they used as stepping stones in their lives. If you don’t know this person well, you may not know what that situation was that refined them into who they are today. But I can 100% guarantee that if you could read the book of their life, you would see that they had waded through some significant difficulty to become who they are today.

Do problems always have the positive effect I am talking about? No. Do problems always present an opportunity for growth? Absolutely, yes.

The difference lies in the individual who has the problem, and how they choose to handle it. There are a few basic approaches people take when they come against an obstacle in life.

1. Denial: This person spends a lot of time and energy trying to deny that a problem exists. However, problems rarely disappear into thin air just because we tell ourselves they aren’t there.

2. Avoidance: The person who avoids may acknowledge there is a problem, but for a variety of reasons, chooses not to act toward resolution of the problem. A common reason for this approach is fear, a belief that there is no resolution, or doubt that they are capable of doing what it takes to solve the problem.

Drug abuse is a very good example of avoidant behavior. Most of the people I have met who have issues with substance abuse are self-medicating. They are numbing themselves because for whatever reason, they don’t want to deal with some situation in their life. Unfortunately, this method of avoidance only creates more serious problems for the abuser.

People who avoid finding solutions to big problems often develop very negative feelings. These people will often spend incredible amounts of time and energy (including the energy of others) complaining and whining. They find ways to blame others for their problems, whether they say it out loud or not. They often view the world in a very pessimistic way, and become resentful and bitter toward their problem, and often toward others. *

3. The third way to deal with a problem is to acknowledge/identify the problem, take responsibility, identify a solution, and implement the solution. This approach is a process that results in growth and personal development.

In many situations, the problem you identify may be one that is impossible for you to solve. For example, somebody who has terminal cancer does not have control over their illness. They can seek appropriate medical treatment and try everything they can to fight the disease. Ultimately, the end result is really not something they can control. In situations like these, the solution is not about changing the unchangeable. The solution is in how we choose to view and deal with the situation. It is in finding how to extract value from the problem.

The frequently cited quote of Viktor Frankl , a Holocaust survivor, illustrates this point perfectly. “Everything can be taken from a man but… the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (p.104, Man’s Search for Meaning).

This reminds me of a movie I recently saw. In this movie, there are two young boys who grow up in an orphanage. They both suffer a great deal from the pain of having no parents. Time passes and we learn that one of the boys passed through his childhood to become a happy and productive adult, who contributes significantly to the world. The other boy grows up to be his adult nemesis, always trying to ruin the man who is so successful. The difference between the two was how they chose to deal with the same situation. One took the road to success, while the other took the road to bitterness, jealousy,and unhappiness.

As I look back on my life up to this point, one thing is very clear to me. My most difficult times have been the most valuable to me. I have learned the most profound, soul changing truths when I have been in the not so pleasant trenches of humility and pain. I have developed a deep compassion for others who suffer. I have come to appreciate more deeply the good times,and the sweet things in life. Experiencing confusion has helped me understand the value of peace and clarity.

My goal with this article is not to pump you up so that you will go out looking for problems. It is to help you realize that with problems comes tremendous opportunity. If you identify yourself as being in denial or avoidance, you can consciously move toward more productive ways of dealing with your issue. If you can see a problem for what it really is, the process is so much more worthwhile. If you are in the middle of a crisis, take a moment to step outside of the situation. Think to yourself “what opportunity is this problem presenting to me? What rewards could wait at the end of this difficulty?” The answers may surprise you, and bring you some peace and hope even in the midst of a storm.

* Note: There is a time and a place for anger, sadness, denial, etc. These are all healthy and natural parts of the grieving process. The difference between healthy grieving and the issues that arise with avoidance is that with grieving, you should reach a point of acceptance and healing. The person who avoids is never able to reach this point because the issue is never addressed.