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Taking responsibility for yourself is a huge step in solving any problem you come across in life. It means that you acknowledge your contribution both to your current circumstances, and your role in your future. Many people see taking responsibility as taking blame for what has already happened.  Being responsible for your future is the other part of the equation.

I see so many people act like victims of the life they are in. “If only this, if only that, if he wouldn’t, if she would,…. ” This is a very stifling and ineffective way to approach life. If you always blame others, you are in effect giving them control over what happens to you.

Try this exercise: (It may be helpful to write it down).

Think about one thing in your life right now that has you worried. It could be anything; relationship, finances, career, children, …….  Now think about why you are in that situation.  Think of all the ways you can blame others. Think about this long and hard.   After you have established the “blaming” mindset, try to think of a way to fix the problem. You will most likely not be able to arrive at a solution, or the solutions you do come up with are unlikely to work because they involve changing another person.  And that is one thing you truly have no control over. Pretty depressing, huh?

Now think about the problem again, but this time, take a different approach.  Whether or not you are completely at fault, it is time to shift into responsibility mode. Think of all the ways you have contributed to the problem.  Think of things you have control over, and make a plan as to how you will resolve this problem with those assets.  If your issue involves other people (which most problems do),  take 100% responsibility for your part. Commit to do everything in your power and then some to remedy the situation. If you cannot resolve the situation to your liking, commit yourself to extract value and develop into a better person as a result of this problem.

How does the second approach to your problem feel different from the first?

There is empowerment and peace when you start to approach your life with an attitude of responsibility. Admitting responsibility means assuming the power you have had all along.